A comma to life

I solemnly stared at this blank page and began typing, reluctantly. In 16 years of my life, I have always wondered the reason behind all this, tried hard to believe that someday I'll find out the reason. The reason to "why do we live?" when we're going to die one day. In this bitter cold night, that one fateful event triggered my thoughts. It was so sudden and totally absurd. Just take one minute here to imagine someone, anybody you know, out of a sudden poofed and disappeared in your life. I am confused but that's because I am only human. Many of us out there have witnessed someone so close, harshly removed out of our life. But to me this made me perceived that the reason why we live, was to die. Was it?

Definitely, this creates the fear in me of growing up, into the real world. No more ceiling, no more shelter, just me waiting for that day; when my life comes to an end. I just can't find the words to describe this feeling anymore. I have the wildest and craziest thoughts but when it comes down to thinking of my own life, it's a paper that may be tore off easily. 

But always remember;
Never put a fullstop in your life, continue them with a comma. Because there is so much more in life, we just have to believe. 

This also allows me to become aware of the warmness of a human's heart. No matter how you try to ignore someone (you know of)'s death, it's not possible. Believe me. Even how much he/she is your worst nemesis or someone you hate with all your life, they will still take up that tiny space in your heart. Because there's no one born cold-hearted, evil or profoundly immoral. Humanity can be such a wonderful thing. 

sometimes we human needs to learn to count our blessings.

Cherish your life, while you're still alive. -alexis
Remember to always shower and show your love to your love ones, you just never know what might happen one day :'(

To end this off, I'd like to say a few words to my uncle, who had just moved on today. 
You had been and always will be a great and wonderful uncle to me, thank you for always giving us the best that you can when you visit us. Thank you for making most Chinese New year awesome. Besides that, you're a genuinely generous person with a big heart and may you live happily, in heaven. 
Rest in peace.
My most sincere condolences goes out to the family. Stay strong. 


I truthfully hope that this wouldn't hurt any of my family members who are so dear and near to me. I'd fight along with them while we struggle through this tough times. And my dear grandma, you'll need to stay stronger than any of us and I know it's hard to accept the truth, but sometimes the naked truth may be better than the best dressed lies. We will get through this, in the name of love and harmony.

 

Life goes on.

She's back / Messed up generation?

As you can tell from the title itself, yes, I'm back to blogging. 

Again, everything typed out below is only of my own personal opinions and experience. No means of dissing against anyone and provoke someone's thoughts.
I don't even have to mention this but play safe, cause there's some narrow-minded who just don't get the idea of blogging. 

To summarize 2013, books books and more books. No I'm not a nerd, geek or whatever and it's only because I'm 16. The year of GCE Cambridge Examination all teenager of age 16 has to go through(express) unless you're a total badass to go against the education system. Otherwise it's compulsory. Mugging every night and day and night, it's a routine that I won't and will never repeat again. 

One thing about knowing that you have a super major life-threatening examination is that, YOU WILL STUDY even how much you hates it. It becomes your only bff. May sound strangling and almost disgusting but that's the truth. Life for a 16 year old or a candidate for Cambridge Exams in Singapore revolves around the books. Everything has to be memorized and imprinted into your heads and that's studying. It's just a tormenting fuck-up system and it's happening. Recalling the procedure of how my life rotates each day is even more tormenting. You wake up, go to school, ten year series, end school, visit library, study till night, eat, bathe, sleep, repeat multiply by 365 or lesser days. I can't remember myself feeling the keyboard of my laptop.  But I survived, maybe with lesser brain cells. 

Moving on from these unnecessary rants, I'm really busy trying to start off a online business. (and that's part of my life goals). Well, taking the O level is only a stepping stone, there's more to life than that. If you think your life is decided by a o level cert, that's a too damn pure mind you've got there. Society's gonna bite you hard. Yea, I'm quite cynical at times like this. So what I've depicted after my O level exams will be like everyday gaming session, eating out, shopping, movies and leisure time that you don't even know how to spend. That's wrong, so wrong! Because you not only becomes bored every second but lifeless. Why? At this certain age of 16, we, adolescence desire and realize the importance of money. Basically your friends will be flocking everywhere to find jobs or go overseas with their family. Then there left you, that one person who can't stand to seize your freedom again and go all out to work. Yes, that's me. Home became the only place to hang out, and that's even worse than school. (mark my words). At home, you face the computer, your phone, your TV and eat a bunch of food you shouldn't. That is .. lifeless. 

 

Sometimes I ponder how little children at age 5 are on their iPads more than playgrounds. I wouldn't even want to know how screwed the generation will turn to become. Imagine kids of the 20s would go like "Let's hang out! on facebook, twitter, tumblr, skype". -_- Is it too quick to expose them to such advanced technology that's gonna scarred their childhood? I don't know. But one thing I know is that I'd rather stick outside than play my iPhone all day. Reminds me of the song by Crayon Pop- Bar Bar Bar, the lyrics conveys the message to "I don't want to stick at home now"- go outside, "jumping"- have fun. Maybe we should encourage the media to play this song around as a message to the young youths who are becoming too engrossed to their devices.

Well, 2013 is just not my year. Too much happenings and crazy decisions to make. So what now? No I ain't gonna let 2013 be nothing than a painful memory. I've decided to let December be eventful, fun and enough to seal up 2013 as a happy year. I'll focus on the 20 things I'd do in December for my next entry and elaborate more about my little business. Enough of my rants and intelligence, I'll stop here for now.  Leave comments below on your thoughts about this topic too.

"want some pizza?" Ciao.